Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Count Dankula Did Nothing Wrong

Well, it's happened. Today, March 20, 2018, in Glasgow, Scotland, a man was actually taken to court and found guilty for............. well................ making this video:

A nice adorable little video about a man having fun with his girlfriend's dog.  I say that because that's exactly what this is, a man and a dog enjoying each other. Nothing more and nothing less.  At least rational people with a healthy sense of humour think so.  However, the police force in Scotland have a different (make bat shit stupid) idea about what humour is and so they had this Count Dankula fellow arrested and put on trial.  The website Medium has a good writeup on it. You can read about the details here.

Ok, I'm assuming you've read all that. Now you can read my take on it.  WOW! So much projection and paranoia.  These people actually thought this man and this dog could 'inspire anti-semitic violence' and possibly trigger World War III or some shit.  And is his real 'crime' being "grossly offensive"??? In a perfect world, the good Count would be receiving a Pulitzer or Nobel prize for being grossly offensive like that, not a fucking court sentence.
 When I usually post about some situation like this, I put up a picture of one or two of my Censor Monkeys that correspond with said situation like on this post and this post and sure this old post. But this time, fuck it. There's no reason to pick and choose this time.  I'm just putting up all of them.

Ok yeah, maybe the Scientologist Monkey doesn't apply here. But then again I'm not completely ruling him out just yet.

As anyone can see this is a bloody farce of a circus of a trial going on here.  There wasn't even a jury of Dankula's peers. Just the Sheriff Derek O'Carroll being judge, jury, and you can bet he wanted to be the executioner if the courts would let him.  Since nobody was allowed to record anything at the trial we can only comment on first hand accounts from the people who sat in the gallery.  One such person is a controversial figure in the UK named Tommy Robinson.  He's been fighting so much against the forces of censorship pushing their weight around in the UK.  As of a few days ago, he won a victory for free speech by giving a speech at a place called Speaker's Corner,  a speech that another man had been arrested for and banned from the UK for trying to make.  Anyway, here's Tommy talking about what he saw happen when the verdict was read.

Sorry, this is a video on Bitchute and I couldn't find how to embed a Bitchute video on to this site.  So, to see the video you have to click this text as a link.

Did you hear what Tommy said at the end there? The sheriff/judge was just making an example of this Youtuber in the name of "diversity".  I believe the statement the judge made was "we live in a multicultural society now".


Two things about that.

one: THIS HAS ALWAYS BEEN A MULTICULTURAL SOCIETY, YOU TOTAL FUCKING IDIOT!!! All of these various races of humans didn't materialize out of thin air. Every race we can see has been on the planet since as far back as humans can remember.  This is not anything new.

aaaaaaaaaaand two:  Do you, Sheriff Derek O'Carroll, actually possess the arrogance, the self righteous platitude and yes even the racial superiority to suggest that every single non-white person agrees with you on this verdict???  Are you really so goddamn full of yourself that you've actually developed a big enough saviour complex that you truly and sincerely think that you're helping every single marginalized minority member by rendering this censorious, authoritarian, and frankly anti-justice verdict???  Really, thinking this way is far more racist, condescending and yes even more dangerous than Count Dankula's video could ever be.  That's a similar mindset to say and 'old fashioned' man saying "Uh oh, guys. Stop telling all of them 'titty jokes'. There's ladies present."  Any self respecting woman would slap the face of any man using such condescension and rightfully so.  No one group is  a monolith that all feels the same way on every issue.
As proof of this, I've embedded the testimony of one minority member on his opinion of this verdict below.

That's one anyway.  If there are others let me know.  Better still, whatever race and/or gender you happen to be, feel free to leave a comment down below giving your opinion of this case's verdict.  Let people know that this miscarriage of justice (or more appropriately '3rd trimester abortion of justice') can not and should not stand.

But, as of now, the sentence has been delivered. The good Count and the rest of us can only wait one whole month for his punishment to be handed down.  I'm hoping it will be just a thorough spanking from a arbiter of his choosing.

"We'll do it!"

"Us too!"
That probably won't be it. But, we can still dream.

I'll end this blog with a musical number that would absolutely raise the ire of that Scottish courtroom. It's a clip from one of the greatest movies made by one of the best nazi-mockers of all time: Mel Brooks.  Enjoy it while you still can.

Saturday, February 24, 2018

Tex Avery and the Art of the Premise

Well, it's coming upon Tex Avery's birthday again. This coming February 26, if he were still alive, he'd be turning 110 years old.  But my day of February 26 will consist of me going to work and taking my truck in to be fixed.  So, that's why I'm making this post today while I managed to find the time.  Without further AROOOOOOOOO....

[ahem]..... I mean, adieu...... here is Tex Avery: Art of the Premise

In many animation circles, Tex Avery is praised for his gags. "You need to analyze all of his funny gags." This is true, Tex conjured up some of the funniest and most industry-shaking gags of all time.  But really, just focussing on the gags is such a superficial and rudimentary approach that does not at all cover Tex' wide range of expertise.  People too often overlook that Tex Avery was a genius at creating premises too.
Anyone in this world, from professional to amateur to civilian, who has
attempted humour at any point in time knows all too well that jokes and gags are like delicate flowers. They need the exact right conditions to flourish and do well. A gag can go from 'clutching-your-ribs hilarious' to either 'mildly amusing' or 'what-the-hell-was-that' if the delicate ecosystem in which a joke exists has been altered ever so slightly.  In other words, a gag itself is only as funny as the environment that it's in.  This is where the premise comes in.  The premise has to provide the framework for which gags can flourish.
The premise itself doesn't have to be funny of course much the same way the main support beam of a building doesn't have to be decorated to be pretty.  A premise such as "a husband and wife living together" or "a cat and a mouse chasing each other" are not at all funny or uproarious by themselves.  But, those very premises have showcased some very funny gags thanks in part to the sound structure of that premise as well as the equally sound structure and appeal of the characters performing the gags.  (Of course, character is very much intertwined with the concept of premise so there no need to elaborate on that point here.)

That being said, there are also times when the premise of a show has been quite hilarious and even quite clever.  The addition to equally clever gags to such ingenious premises would surely be the pinnacle of any entertainment culture. There have been many brilliant artists of all genres throughout the centuries who have achieved this dichotomy of excellence and Tex Avery is certainly one of them.  On this blog of mine I've already talked about the brilliance of premises from Tex' filmography such as Out Foxed, Dixieland Droopy, and The Blow Out.  You can read what I said about those cartoons by clicking those links.  For the rest of this blog post I will highlight some of Tex' cartoons that I feel contain a very clever and ingenious premise.


In a small Mexican town, there's a big bull fight going down in which residents of the town can volunteer to challenge the bull.  The prize for defeating the bull is 1000 pesos. So, Porky Pig and his two pals hatch a scheme. Porky will volunteer to be the matador and his two friends will dress up like one bull. They'll "fight" in the arena, his pals will take a dive thus securing victory for Porky, and the three of them will share the prize money later. However, the plan goes awry when his friends become falling over drunk just minutes before the contest starts.  So, Porky instead fights a real bull while his pals whoop it up singing La Cucaracha on the side lines (this singing performance was Mel Blanc's first voice recording for the studio by the way. You're welcome for that little foot note).


This is a fun cartoon within a cartoon so to speak.  The premise here is that Porky Pig himself makes his very own animated cartoon.  All the animorphed animals from far and wide come to this local theatre and pay 5 cents each to witness Porky's masterpiece.  It merely consists of silly isolated gags executed by crudely drawn stick people.  In-between each gag is a crudely drawn card containing childish caricatures both Porky himself and "you".  If you have not seen this cartoon, it is something to find and check out.


I chose this one because of some of the background history around it.  The character Bugs Bunny had just become a sensation with the release of A Wild Hare.  So, naturally, the Warner Bros. studio were under way to producing as many Bugs Bunny cartoons as possible to meet this overwhelming demand.  For Bugs' second cartoon, someone suggested placing him into the old tortoise and the hare fable.  However, many of the writers, directors and whatnot could not think of a way to place the Bugs character into the fable and make it work.  Seminal genius Tex Avery found a way though. The premise he came up with is that the tortoise (named Cecil here) makes a $10 bet with Bugs Bunny that he can win the race. Bugs agrees and the race is on.  But, Cecil cheats by planting his lookalike turtle relatives all along the track looking as though he's somehow getting ahead.  Bugs is stupefied by this and thus ends up paying Cecil the $10 which Cecil then share with his 9 other relatives.  Sure, it doesn't adhere to the "formula" of Bugs being the winner, but 1)that formula hadn't been established yet and 2)who really said Bugs had to win every time anyway?  The point is that the premise still works thanks to Tex Avery's genius.


An absolutely fire-cracker game changer of a premise here. It starts off telling a very safe child-friendly version of the Red Riding Hood story. It quickly grinds to a halt however when all of the characters complain about how it's all "sissy stuff".  So, the story is then told a new way.  The wolf becomes a Hollywood wolf that's always looking to 'score' with any beautiful women. Red Riding Hood is now a sweet and sexy dancing girl that the wolf pursues. Red Riding Hood's grandma is also looking to 'score' and thus pursues the wolf when she sets her eyes on him.  It's full of frenetic energy and has a premise that only adults would understand. I'll add to that, adults who visited Hollywood & Vine at any point in the 1940's and saw all sorts of sleazy men making moves on either naive or equally sleazy women would understand this premise all too well.


This one starts off with a homeless cat desperately looking for food.  That itself is a simple enough premise, but that's not the full premise. The full premise is revealed when this cat finds a canary but sees that it is way too small to be a satisfying enough meal.  But, the cat finds a bottle full of Miracle Gro and feeds that to the canary hoping he will grow at least big enough to be a one course meal.  However, the Miracle Gro stuff works too well which causes that canary to become as big as a house. So the cat drinks some of that stuff to make himself from big enough to eat that bird. A bull dog and a mouse get caught up in this situation as well. All four of these animals take turns drinking that Miracle Gro in an effort to overwhelm each other. They of course grow to be as big all the tallest skyscraper buildings in the process.  Spoiler: it ends when the bottle is finally empty, at which point the cat and the mouse are as big as planet Earth itself.


This cartoon's premise, gags, and overall execution are so well done that it was inducted into the Library of Congress as a culturally significant work.  The premise starts with a magician who approaches a prestigious opera singer and asks if his magic show can be an opening act. The magician demonstrates that his magic wand can make anything appear or disappear at will.  The opera singer is not impressed and quickly boots the magician out of the theatre just before he goes on stage to perform.  The magician is not deterred in any way and very quickly seeks his revenge.  He sneaks in and takes the conductor's place with his magic wand standing in for the conductor's baton of course.  So, while the opera star sings his aria, the magician waves his wand and makes all manor of things happen to him throughout the course of the performance (some of them more 'politically incorrect' than others).  The ingenious hilarity of this premise is made more riotous with the split-second timing that Tex Avery was great at pulling off.


This one starts off as a man walking with his dog on the way to the store to pick up a few things for his wife.  On the way to the store both the man and the dog get run over by a car and are in critical life threatening condition.  They both need blood and need it fast.  An ambulance drives up with two types of blood, one for humans and one for dogs.  However, the ambulance driver is a cross-eyed loon and so gives the wrong blood to the two victims.  Once they've fully recovered, they'r back on their way.  But then they start acting strangely.  The man starts acting more like a dog and thusly the dog starts acting more like a man.  His wife and her poodle are very confused by this when they get home.  The man keeps biting people's legs for no reason and the dog keeps verbally asking for "ham and eggs".  This cartoon was nominated for an Oscar and upon watching it, it's easy to see why.

That's just a small sampling of some of the truly stand out premises that Tex Avery managed to come up with throughout his career.  If there are any premises you feel I should have mentioned, feel free to post them in the comment section below.

You can also check out Frank Young's blog where he's posted so much about Tex Avery's cartoons made at Warner Bros.  There's quite a bit of in-depth analysis there.

I hope you had as much fun reading this blog post as I had typing it.  Although, what would be even more fun is watching the very same cartoons I talked about here.  Please seek them out and watch them.  You won't be disappointed.

Friday, February 02, 2018

My daughter's dream

That is my daughter Raianne. I believe I've posted her image on this blog more than once. Oh well, if you missed her those times then you're seeing her now.

Recently I was having my daily correspondence with my wife when she told me of a strange dream that her/our daughter Raianne had the other night.  It was an exciting dream where she was being chased by a bad fairy.  Luckily, she was being helped by a little alien creature who resembled a bee.  Upon reading that, I figured that this could be a fun scenario to draw.  I asked for more details of the fairy and the bee alien to help me with this drawing.  Here's what I was given:

So I took all of that information and managed to whip up the neat little doodle below.

Just so I'm not having all of the fun, my daughter drew her own version of the dream she had.  Why not? It is her dream after all.  He's her work:

I think that looks pretty slick.  To me, the fairy resembles a young Katherine Hepburn.  I wish she would've told me about the happy tree in her dream.  I could've added that easily.

Anyway, kids are great, daughters are great, drawing is fun, and life is great.

So long for now, everyone.

Remember............. keep smiling.

Saturday, December 23, 2017

A Philippines Vacation

I just recently got back from a wonderful trip to visit my wife on our 1year anniversary of marriage.  First, the two of us had a wonderful 4 day honeymoon at the Watergate Hotel in downtown Butuan.

This was the view from our room.  I won't 'bore' anyone with the intricate details of our vacation.  I will just say that within the 4 days we stayed there, we couldn't find time to use the pool.

I know this blog was initially set up to display any artwork I've done. Sadly there was;t much time for that on this trip.  The only actual art work I managed to get done was a picture drawn on my wife's new guitar.  Her niece broke her old guitar by accident so, as a good Christmas-ie gesture, I bought her a new one.  Here's the artwork I blessed the guitar with:

Everything put on that guitar is absolutely the truth. Here's hoping it makes whatever music she plays on it that much sweeter.

One other fun event on this trip was an opportunity my wife's aunt provided for us.  We got to sit in on her class as they performed some Christmas carols they were preparing to do for a Christmas party that was happening only days later.  I was allowed to take video footage of that and I've provided it below.  Listen for a part where some of the kids sing something unintentionally dirty.  It's around the 13 minute mark. You can easily tell when that part is because you'll hear me and my wife laughing hysterically over it.  Anyway, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone except Censor Monkeys.  Enjoy the carols!

Friday, November 24, 2017

Kilroy News! New Developments of the Kilroy Event!

A few months ago, I blogged about an upcoming event called The Kilroy Event.  You can learn more about that event at their own site by clicking these highlighted letters here.  You can learn all about who will be in attendance, buy your tickets early, as well as donate any amount of money you so desire.  Also, here's a trailer for it:

I've bought my early ticket already so I'll definitely be there on April 21 and 22.  Besides attending as many of the debates and seminars as I can, I will also be walking around selling copies of my book, Censor Monkeys Have No Class.

Anyone who has read this book and my previous book already know full well that it fits very well into Kilroy's theme of preserving free speech and rallying against those that would like take it from us.  The Censor Monkeys in my book represent the latter of course.
Although, if you want to check out my book before this convention even starts, you can purchase it on Amazon and/or Kindle right here. ---> CLICK ON ME!

An event like this is exactly what the world needs right now. I can't wait to be there to either cheer on or heckle all of the great speakers in attendance. I also look forward to meeting many fellow freedom-loving Kekistanis at the same time.

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

How White People Can Fight For Delicious Equality

I found a highly informative Twitter thread that could help us all strive towards that very goal of making the world one big ball of unity.  Out of the goodness in my heart, I felt the need to share this with all of you. Read below.

Friday, September 22, 2017

I Am Kekistani

"Huuuuuh HWHAT???  Now what in the devil's blue balls is a 'Kekistani???  I demand to know!!!"  Whoa there! Calm down, home spice!  The video embedded down below will explain.  (Also watch for my appearance at about the 15:05 mark).

So that's a lot of what you need to know in order to understand the Kek culture.  I hope you can also see why I've declared myself a citizen of of the land of Kekistan.

The 'self appointed' Kekistan Ambassador (namely Jeff Holiday) here in this video mentioned that all this Kek stuff is essentially a spoof of something called identity politics, but didn't go into detail about what that is. It's basically this moronic and asinine practice of trying to look like the biggest societal victim.  On the left-leaning SJW side people do this by saying stuff like "I'm a woman so I'm more oppressed than you!"  "Oh yeah, well I'm a black woman born in poverty so I'm more oppressed than you!" "Ya, well I'm a half Chinese, half Puerto Rican lesbian with a tourettes (FUCK SHIT COCK 'N' BALLS) so I'm more oppressed than you!!" "Oooooooooh Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Well I'm a quarter Mongolian, one eighth African, two thirds Eskimo, midget, pansexual, half-calf, double-double, pigeon-toed, uncircumcised, snake handler with 100 toes and a two inch vagina on my face so I'm waaaaaaaaaay more oppressed than you!!!" and on and on in a downward spiral that goes.  But, also, on the right wing, you have the alt-right idiots saying something similar like "programs such as Affirmative Action are prejudiced against us white males so we're more oppressed now" as well as the the now infamous chant of "(non-white minority X) WILL NOT REPLACE US!!"
So this is how the concept of Kekistan spoofs both of them.  It kind of started when Pepe the Frog was declared a "hate symbol" by Hillary Clinton and the Southern Poverty Law Centre.  This lead to many memes and pictures of Pepe being taken down from many sites on the internet.  So, in that vein, a nation of Kekistan was born who then declared that "memes with Pepe the Frog on them are Kekistan's chief export and they are now being scorched from the internet, a veritable 'meme genocide' if you will.  Therefore, the nation of Kekistan and it's people are the most oppressed of all!!!". Something like that.

The opposite of a Kek is a Normie.  A Normie is either anyone who hasn't heard of Kekistan and so has no idea what it is, or is one of the aforementioned people who gladly participate in that identity politics and are thus highly resentful of having themselves spoofed in such a manner.
 So, to any and all Normies that may be reading this, no I was not at all "brainwashed" or swept up by any Kekistan 'propaganda'.  I have had 'kek' leanings for many many years I'd say.
You see, for as long as I can remember, I've always been an animation enthusiast, especially the Looney Tunes. So, I spent a better part of the 2000's visiting forums where I would discuss cartoons and their history.  I learned a lot in that time.  But also in that time, I saw a negative attitude about cartoons developing.

And this attitude increased 1000% whenever the cartoons known as the Censored 11 were ever brought up.  There were angry calls to "keep them censored" and "burn them in a fire" as well as many accusations of the original directors of these cartoons (namely Tex Avery, Chuck Jones, Friz Freleng, and Bob Clampett) were flat out 'racist klansmen trying to brainwash kids into accepting racism'.  I along with many animation experts tried in vain to use all of the facts we've amassed over the years about how those artists were far from the horrible racists they're being made out to be.  But it was no use.  That attitude had become fixed.  Little did I know it was the first rumblings of the regressive SJW agenda.
So, long before anyone had ever heard of SJWs, Pepe, or Kekistan, I spoofed these types of people with a creation of my own that I call Censor Monkeys.  Two of my books featuring them are available on Amazon here and here by the way.

They are very much a satirical spoof of everyone that claims that...

"Everything is sexist..."

"Everything is racist..."

...much the same way the whole concept of Kekistan spoofs these people.

As you can see, I have been a Kekistani for a lot longer than it's been a country.  So, out of solidarity with all my Kekistani brothers and sisters, I have fully "kekked" myself to show my commitment to the full emancipation of my people.

Shadilay, my dudes!!!