Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Bar doodles

On my sister blog, I talked about my recent experience attending the Black Pussy concert.  Click on that link to read about it there.  There is one footnote of a thing thing I left out of that experience that I'd like to share here.


These are the doodles I made on napkins while waiting for the band to perform.  Since I had some time to kill I thought I'd do some planning for an upcoming project of mine.

When the concert was done, I bought a T-shirt and left.  As soon as I walked out the door, I remembered that I had left those bar doodles behind.  I contemplated for a few seconds whether I should leave them behind or go back for them.  I decided on the latter.  When I re-entered the bar I found that one waitress was taking a picture of them with her iPhone.  She enjoyed them a great deal, so I signed one of them and gave it to her.  I hope she's happy with it.  We didn't exchange and contact information or social media handles or anything like that, but I did recall her having plans of posting these doodles on Facebook.  So, if anyone of you has seen these doodles on someone's social media page or thread or snap or whatever, just know that those were done by me.

It's always fun to spread joy through people's lives either through drawing, music, or any other artistic medium.  I'm glad everyone had fun that night.


Tuesday, August 30, 2016

I'm getting married!!!!


Yep! Sorry, lady ma'am.  It's true.  I am officially off the market and unavailable.


Yes yes I know.  It's truly breaking your heart but it's got to be this way.  There can only be one woman in my life and......


Whoa whoa whoa!!! Ladies!!! Calm yourselves!!!  My goodness I never meant to cause so much grief.  But you have to understand that I........


Rihanna?  Really?  You're distraught about this too.  I had no idea you had these feelings about me.  I'm flattered and touched by this but at the same time I have to.........


Philippines acting superstar Angel Locsin????  You too???  Ladies, please!  Simmer it down.  I need to get on with this post.

Yes, cupid's arrow has struck both me and the lady of my dreams right into our hearts.  I just got back from a trip to the Philippines where the two of us got the paperwork started for our marriage to happen.  My bride-to-be is a lovely and amazing filippina named Janet Alaan.


She and I have found happiness in each other's company because we...........


Oh hey, what now?  Come on, dude.  Janet is betrothed to me and thus no longer available to you.  You need to get over this.....


Quit your blubbering, Mr. Dawson's Creek guy.  I know Janet is gorgeous and amazing and so would be a great partner for any man.  I happen to be the man she has chosen so you need to.....


Guys! Guys! Guys!  You need to get a grip!  Maybe try to approach some of the crying ladies at the top.  They could use some comforting right now.


Okay, Adam Levine.  You stay right there and have a good cry about this.  Janet and I will be over here appreciating each other's bodies and souls.

Janet and have known each other for a few years mostly through the internet.  But, last November I took a trip to the Philippines to visit her in person.  It turns out we hit it off better than either one of us could possibly imagine.  We share a similar sense of humour too which is always a plus.
(A little side note to any and all Hells Angels reading this post.  At some point on this recent trip to visit, I earned the red wings.  I won't be indelicate and give any details into how that happened but I assure you it did happen.  So, Angels, if I ever decide to join your little gang, you'll know which jacket to pull out of your wardrobe dept. for me).

Besides a deep love for each other, we also share an equally deep love and affection for her little girl.


Her name is Raianne and is a very smart 7 year old.  Normally on this blog I only feature artwork that I have drawn.  Well this time I'm going to showcase some wok that Raianne made for me as a gift.


It's a little card she made for me.  It wasn't my birthday at all, but I enjoyed the sentiment.


Inside the card has some nice artwork too.  At the bottom left is a depiction of me, her mom, herself, and the little sister she hopes we make for her someday.

OOP!  I lied.  I will be posting artwork of mine in this post after all.


While I was there, I made a hastily-constructed drawing of one of my Censor Monkeys.  The American Monkey to be exact.  She then took the time to fully colour it.  She even added the little box that says who the monkey is and what his censorship agenda is.

This part right here.

Well, that was my most recent trip to the Philippines.  Like I said earlier, Janet is absolutely wonderful.  The rest of her family is also very friendly and have graciously accepted me into their circle.  I'm hoping this union lasts for at least 10 million years passed forever.


Now I'll end this post with something mushy.  Every couple has a song.  This is our song.  I sang it into the karaoke machine at her Aunt's birthday party and it was a beautiful moment.  So here is that same song embedded below.  Whether your a fan of early 80's Chicago or not, feel free to enjoy the song.



Janet Alaan, I love you!!!

Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Is there anything wrong with Pokemon?



Well, it's a vapid one-dimensional pile of fluff that has absolutely nothing that holds my interest.  Of course, that's merely my opinion.  From an objective point of view, it's a show that exists and has a sizeable fanbase since it's debut in Japan in 1997.  The show's immense popularity has even spawned an app called Pokemon Go that is right now a huge phenomenon sweeping the world.  I know my bro-in-law and both his sons (my nephews) enjoy it very much.

So is there a big problem with this franchise?  Meet the dipshit who thinks there's a problem.  His name is Jonathan McIntosh.


His work is familiar to anyone who's ever found themselves sitting through the insipid ramblings of Anita Sarkeesian as she blames all of society's ills on video game cleavage.  He was one of the people behind the scenes on her Youtube videos who helped make that happen.  I do believe that he's the human puffball that coined the phrase "toxic masculinity" as well.
He has since departed her empire for who knows and who cares what reasons in order to embark on his own video series dissecting popular culture from his own myopic perspective.  He recently went on Twitter to offer his analysis that anyone with a functioning brain can see came straight from his (possibly abused) ass:



BWAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!  Dog fighting???  Oh ok!  We're all Michael Vick now because of Pokemon.  What a fucking idiot!  Back in January I made a post about another real-life Censor Monkey.  This McIntosh is not criminally heinous like that one but he is equally a pain in the ass nonetheless. Basically, his Twitter rant constitutes the rhetoric of two of the Censor Monkeys:  the Horrible Mother Monkey for making it seem like the show is bad for kids and the Psychologist Monkey for implying that it could have a negative psychological effect somehow.  But of course what he's really saying is "I can't handle it so nobody else should be able to either" which is typical of his ilk.

I'll give another reason why this asshat is stupid and wrong.  It has to do with the making of the Bugs Bunny cartoon Bully For Bugs.


It all started one fine day in the early 1950's when animation director extraordinaire Chuck Jones (to the left) was killing some time by practicing his doodling which he did quite often.  While pondering what to draw, he remembered that he'd never tried to capture the hulking mass of a bull's muscular structure.  So, he felt this was an opportunity to do just that.  After he had drawn several bulls (some better than others according to his opinion I'm sure) the producer and head boss of the Warner Bros. animation studio Ed Selzer (to the right) was walking by and looked over Chuck's shoulder to see what the doodles were.  When he saw that they were bulls he sharply bellowed "NO!  I don't want any cartoons about bull fights.  Bull fights are NOT funny!"  This rang a bell inside Mr. Jones' head.  He had no intention of making a bull fight cartoon before that.  But, Mr. Selzer had a nice long track record of being wrong so far (and there were many more incidents to come in the future).  For instance, Selzer did not want them to pair Tweety with Sylvester.  He then looked the fool when their first cartoon together won Looney Tunes' first Oscar.  He also thought that nobody would laugh at or even appreciate a Pepe Le Pew cartoon.  But, in Selzer fashion, he had to eat those words when the third Pepe Le Pew cartoon won an Oscar.  He also objected to the name of the first Roadrunner & Wile E. Coyote cartoon Fast and Furry-ous stating that "furious is spelled wrong".


So, since he'd been wrong about so many other things, Chuck knew he had to be wrong about bull fight cartoons as well.  So right away Chuck got together with his main writer Mike Maltese, told him what had just happened, and the two of them got to work coming up with ideas about Bugs Bunny doing some bull fighting.  To both of their delight, all the elements came together quite easily.  The end result was the aforementioned Bully For Bugs.  It didn't win an Oscar or any other accolades, but it always makes pretty much everyone's top 10 list of Bugs Bunny's filmography.

I brought all of this up because McIntosh's sentiments about Pokemon seem eerily similar to Selzer's opinion of bull fight cartoons.  Because of this uncanny parallel, I would like to suggest we all do to Jonathan McIntosh what Chuck Jones, Mike Maltese, and everyone else at the WB studio did to Eddie Selzer.  We should ignore and even defy whatever authority JM thinks he has pretty much to the point where we're doing the exact opposite of what he says.  If he's got a crybaby problem with all of these Pokemon creatures fighting each other, then I implore all who are using this Pokemon Go app to collect all of the creatures you can and have them all fight in what could look like the biggest drag-em-out, glove dropping, bench clearing, tooth finding, hockey brawl the world has ever seen.



Oh and definitely feel free to enjoy the fruits of Chuck's and Mike's labours Bully For Bugs embedded below.



 For all of those hardcore Pokemon fans out there, this is what a cohesive story with a satisfying conclusion looks like.

Tuesday, July 05, 2016

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Donald Trump is a.................



M-M-M-M-MONKEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!

Monkey monkey monkey monkey monkey!!!!!

Wait!  I forget.  Did mention that Donald Trump is a monkey?

Whatever!  Enjoy some Monkey Business from the Marx Brothers below while you're here.

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Another Regina Fan Expo is In The Can


...and I was honoured to be a part of it.  I think I've recovered my regular sleep pattern so now it is indeed possible to make this blog post.

This was my display table.
This was table number.

And this was my name tag.
The money I made in no way made up for what it cost to reserve a table there, but I would say that it was definitely worth it.  Because of my presence at this event, that many more people are aware of my comic book and the Censor Monkeys who have the potential to intern tell others about it. Any and all exposure is better than none.

I sadly couldn't get anywhere near any of the celebs that visited the expo because I had to stay at my table the whole time, but I did hear about a few things from people who had walked by and talked to me.  One of those things said was that Brent Spiner was a no show.  No-one knew why he cancelled at the last minute.  My guess is that since he's a robot his parameters were set to "disappoint people".


I also was told that at this expo Dirk Benedict was grumpy.  Hmmmmmmm


But yet at the same time, Grumpy was not Dirk Benedict.  Interesting how that works out.


That's all the expo 'scuttlebutt' I heard.  So now I'd like to talk about my experience at this event: people's reaction to my book Censor Monkeys Have No Class.  They were varied and intriguing to say the least.  I remember one person calling my work "creative".  Another person had a similar sentiment saying it was "unique and appealing in a million different ways".  There was also a guy who said of my work "the SJW's will be in an uproar" which is pretty much the point really.  One guy flipped through my book and loved what he saw which inspired him to buy it.  Upon doing so, he showed it to his girlfriend whose reply might have been something like "why would you buy that?"  I was too far away to clearly hear exactly what she said but I could see that sentiment in her facial expression.  My favourite response came from two girls in high school (or University) who said "we should get this book and put it in the school library".  My response to that was, "tell me the name of your school and I'll do it".  You know what, I might just do that.
The reaction I found the most baffling was that of a man who identified as a feminist.  He found the book "problematic" of course, but his critique of the Feminist Monkey made me almost jump back a little bit.  He claimed that this particular monkey was 'highly sexualized'.  Um................. what???


I....................... would not "tap that".  In fact, for me that would be one of the least tappable creatures imaginable.  Oh well.  Everybody has their own bizarre fetish.

Like I've done at other comic book events in the past, I took pictures of everyone who approached my booth while in a costume.  The resulting pictures like always are posted below:

Saturday


Actually, the first costume I'm posting is not from a patron but moreso a mannequin.  The girl in the booth beside me made her own costumes for sale and this majestic pirate costume was one of them.  I just had to take a picture of it.  I personally can't even sew a button on without making my thumb bleed so I admire her skill and patience with her creations.  Damnit I forget her name.


Here's a big man with a big gun.  A more jealous wag would indicate that he is "trying to over-compensate for something".  Forget that!  This is one badass costume.  This man should feel proud.


This guy had a wicked cool Deadpool costume, but started walking away before I could ask him to pose for a picture.  So, I snapped this little candid shot as quick as I could.  I think I'll sell this to TMZ later.


Here's a nice neo-victorian number.  Beard-o looks triggered.  PHHHFTT!!!


This lady right here is no mere attendee.  She's actually a rather accomplished singer and youtuber named Tara St Michel.  She was there making her own documentary of the Fan Expo and was nice enough to stop by my table.  Her youtube video of this event is embedded below:


Also check out the rest of her youtube channel.


Here's a nice lovely couple.  I'm not sure what the guy's costume is.  From the looks of it, the lady's costume seems to be someone who fondles the breasts of short invisible women.  That sounds like a fun thing to be.


I believe these are school girls from Hogwarts.  No, I didn't ask which one of them was Tootie.  They wouldn't have got that anyway.


A Rei costume.  There were a lot of those at this Fan Expo of course.  


Again, I'm only guessing at what the costume could me.  I have no idea about the guy.  My guess for the girl's costume is that she is someone who fixes all the flat tires on her bicycle with a cut out piece of her pants.  That's an interesting concept for a super hero.



Here are some friends of mine: Jim and his wife Darla.  Like the sign says below, they are indeed 75 cents each.  Believe me, that is a bargain.  Go pick them up at your favourite Dollar Store today.


Another Hogwarts student.  Hey, does Voldemort know that a few of his students cut class to come to this event?  I'm not sure what the penalty for truancy is at Hogwarts but I'm betting it can't be good.

And that was my Saturday.  I made a few sales and all was good.

Sunday

After leaving the Fan Expo on Saturday I went home to have a bit of supper.  Then I lay down for a bit before heading off to work my night shift job.  My job ended a little after 7 am.  From there I went straight home, had a shower, got redressed and headed right back to the Fan Expo all during the time I should have been sleeping.  Then I had to be awake for the rest of the Expo until 5 pm when it was time for everyone to go home.  So, needless to say I was a bit wired that day.  But, in the mean time, I enjoyed the following costumes that came my way:


I saw Marvin!!!!  No, I didn't 'make him angry'.



This little girl was dressed like Rick Moranis from The Little Shop of Horrors.  Wow!  She wasn't even born when Rick Moranis retired from show business.  I feel old.



I think a French mime just got married to a Gestapo agent.  I really don't want to know what the kids will look like.


Okay, this little joker never actually approached my table.  However, he was constantly mesmerized by my artwork.  He stared and stared at it for I think collectively a half an hour.  I'm not sure what could have held his attention that long.  Go back to my table display photo at the top and try to figure that out.

Here's an elvan princess.  Dressed in purple to mourn Prince's passing obviously.


Here we have Super Girl.  Buying that purse made out of kryptonite was probably not a good idea.


This girl right here is dressed for the prom.  Weird because it's still only April.  I guess she's so confident that she passed all her classes that she's celebrating early.  Get down with your bad self, girl.


Also, this little princess came to my table.  She didn't buy a book at all because in her opinion 'the monkeys are too scary'.  Yes, little girl, yes they are.  These monkeys are the scariest creatures EVEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!  If you see them in your neighbourhood get rid of them by any means immediately!!!


Hey, look!  The CBC news crew came down my aisle.  So if you watched footage of this event on the CBC you probably saw my table in the background somewhere.

And that was my Regina Fan Expo experience.  I hope you enjoyed reading about it as much as I enjoyed being there.  Hey, if you were at this event on either day and you saw yourself in any one of these photos, definitely give a shout out of "OMG! THAT'S ME THAT'S ME THAT'S ME THAT'S ME......" in the comment section or wherever.

I'm definitely looking forward to next year.