Thursday, March 14, 2024

I SHOT THE ARIF....... BUT I DID NOT SHOOT THE DEPUTY...... WOOO WOOO WOOOOOOOOOO


 The guy in the photo above is Canadian parliamentarian Arif Virani.  Not many people know who he is here in Canada and even less people in the rest of the world have even a wisp of an idea of who he is.  Well, I think it would be a very good idea for more people to know that this man exists and for a rather relevant reason.  He's the carbon(?) based lifeform that is responsible for presenting the following bill into parliament:

Yep, that one.  If that becomes law, people all over Canada could face LIFE in prison for..................... posting "nasty" things on the internet.

WOOO-OO-OOO-OOO-OO! Isn't that scary, kids?  Wow! Did you see that post on Facebook? Or that one on X?  All those...... nasty dirty words!  WOO-OOO-OOO!  Maybe somebody might read those words........ and.... and.... feel sad about them maybe.  And then....... LOOK OUT!  Because......... WOOO-OO-OOO-OOO-OOO! So so scary and....... um........

Oh alright! It's not scary.  Only a meglomaniacal idiot would put anyone in jail for that. 



One of the worst parts is that the dude's proud of this bill.  He's pinned a video of himself singing the bill's praises to the top of his Twitter/X profile and expects it pass into law with impunity.

Mr Arif claims its primary purpose is for "protecting children, especially from seeing porn or being used for porn".  Hey, that's all well and good.  However, Canada already has a law in the books to perform that function:

That one.  Bill 291 is already used to keep kids safe from sexual predators.  C-63 is simply piggybacking on this already established bill as a means to target speech Arif doesn't like, such as.......

Yeah, that old chestnut.  He's making a law against something that doesn't actually exist in the first place.  "Hate Speech" is a bullshit concept created by bullshit people used to stifle speech and spread bullshit.   The only words that could apply here are credible calls for violence.  The rest is just spiced up Rabelaisian content that only the flakiest of flakes can't handle.  This law is nothing but enforcement of mandatory pearl-clutching.

But wait, there's more.....

Um.... yeah.  I've heard of "wrong-think", but this is "wrong-emote".  So, having state-disapproved emotions will be punishable under this law.  How does that work?

Ah ha! But, here's the absolute worst part of the entire law.  This is the part that makes one question if Arif Virani is actually a demon from Hell, an acid-dripping warlord from outer space, or an evil robot built by Gargamel sent to destroy us all.

Wow! Arif wants to arrest people who haven't even committed an offence but IS FEARED that this person(s) will commit an offence at some point in the future.  That's something right out of pretty much every dystopian scifi end of civilization novel you can name.  Even screw-loose senator Joe McCarthy is looking down from his assessment room in purgatory and saying "WTF?".

Those are some of the "big highlights" of this ridiculous law.  I could copy & paste the entire bill from the government's website and post it here, but that would be a long and dry read.  Instead, I'll be a good Gen-Xer and sum it all up with a Simpsons reference.  Such as this thusly:

"...There's alot of shitposters that have got too much freedom.  I want to make it legal for policemen to beat 'em..."

And there you have it.  A Mad Max style dystopian nation created at the mere stroke of a pen if this law is passed.  Arif is, of course, under some delusion that this law will only shield "vulnerable" people from harshness.  But, my prediction for this law is it will play out like Bill c118.  For those who don't know, c118 is a law drawn up that was supposed to force social media companies to pay news organizations in Canada for uploading their content.  You and I have to PAY the social media companies to advertise and promote our stuff, but Canada's news orgs would GET paid for uploading.   However, what happened was social media companies instead just stopped hosting Canadian news altogether.  It only makes business sense on the websites' part.  They would save money by NOT hosting news content that the country's government is forcing them to pay for.  I'm thinking that's all that would happen under c63.  Social media companies, or perhaps even Google as a whole, will simply pull all of their business out of Canada.  It would certainly be easier than combing through every post from the past 20 years looking for "questionable" content AND then tracking every individual down for an arrest.  THEN watch the support of the Arif and his party, the Liberals, plummet to even further depths than anyone could imagine.  

Hey, come to think of it, Arif is not the only perpetrator of trying to pass illiberal censorship and other dystopian nonsense into law.  There's been a bunch over the past few years. There was C-11, a bill that gave the government control over the content in Canada's film industry. Trudeau also rammed through another stifling law with bill C-36. 


And, of course, there's still a whole controversy over the Trudeau government's handling of the Emergencies Act against the truckers' big protest back in 2022.  But, of course, I shouldn't leave out any of the equally dystopian things that former PM Stephen Harper did during his time.  He tried to pass C-11 back when it was called C-10. He also tried to implement a hotline where people could report on any suspicious things Muslims might be doing.  Why have politicians been so brazen to try and enact dubious laws that blatantly violate Canada's Charter of Rights and Freedoms? Is there a way to put a stop to it?  I think I might have a solution.  Here's a bill I'd love to introduce to parliament some day:


BILL C-8675309: the "READ THE CHARTER, DAMNIT" Act

1) any and all laws introduced to parliament must adhere to the provisions stated in Canada's Charter of Rights and Freedoms.  Failure to do so would result in any of the following punishments:

   a) immediate loss of political position and title

   b) an automatic prison sentence of up to 35 years 

    c) 2000 hours of community service in the worst part of that MP's constituency

    d) I get to spank that former MP's bare butt with an object of my choice every time I feel like it, and I will always feel like it

There we go. With that bill becoming law, we should never have to deal with any tyrannical politicians ever again.


There's a lot of vitriolic things I could say about this man that I haven't said already.  I draw his with a "classic" Hitler moustache of course.  I could put a Chairman Mao bald spot and mole on his face or a full Castro beard.  A Darth Vader mask?  Naw, that's been done to death.  Depict him as the Eye of Sauron from Lord of the Rings?  No, J.R.R. Tolkien's ghost might sue.  Well, hey, my first thought when I saw this guy for the first time was "his nose looks like a penis".  So, here's my depiction of him:

Arif the Dick-Nosed Censor Monkey

Uh oh!  Would this drawing get me in trouble with the c63 law??? Well, if it does, my response is from a classic Was Not Was song.  Enjoy, and see you on the other side.


Sunday, February 25, 2024

Does Avery like Avery?

 


This is the first Tex Avery's birthday post I've done since my son was born. 
Like I mentioned before, my son's name is Avery taken after the great master Tex Avery so I feel it's fitting to involve he little guy in this post.  Throughout this post we will all answer the question put forth in the title: "What is my son's assessment of Tex Avery's work?"

What's that? Why, yes, my boy Avery has indeed been watching many many selections from my DVD/Bluray collection pretty much since the day his eyes were fully open.  Why do you ask?  It's a good way to keep him quiet and happy.............. some of the time.  If he's genuinely enjoying what he sees, then it works quite well.  If not, well then you've got a loud cranky baby on your hands and you'd better do what you can to alleviate that situation fast.

One big selection from Tex's filmography that my son has seen is the "magnumest opus that ever magnumed an opus", that seminal masterpiece: Red Hot Riding Hood.


The verdict: I am sad to report that this cartoon made my son Avery cry.  He wasn't crying at first, which is good.  However, when it got to the part where the Wolf was going crazy at the table looking at Red dancing on the stage, that's when he showed his displeasure.  Ah well.  He's only 5 months old as of right now.  Cultural works have ways of growing on people once they mature and become more worldly, which I'm sure my son is destined to do.

Here are some other shows that have given him displeasure in the first few months of his life:

Sesame Street - he's scared of The Count





Fraggle Rock - he's scared of the Gorgs, especially in the openning theme song when Jr grabs Gobo






Dumbo - Avery does NOT care for those lady elephants that pick on and exclude Dumbo.  Well' y'know, he's not wrong.  If you watch the movie you can easily see that those elephants are pieces of shit in general throughout the entire movie.  That's the point of their characters of course, but it's understandable that he would not enjoy watching them.






I'll give a special mention to Sylvester & Tweety right here, because he has a kind of love/hate opinion of them.  Li'l Avery loves anything with music in it, you see. 

As many of you reading this now are aware, most S&T cartoons start off with Tweety singing a song.  My son is thoroughly entertained by this.  But he is quickly taken aback the moment Sylvester makes any kind of grab for him.  Avery lets out a shriek that seems to be saying "NOOOOOOOOO! DON'T KILL THE SINGING BIRD!!!!"  That grief is short lived the moment Sylvester fails with either a long fall, dog punch, or explosion.  That is then followed by a feeling of relief.  But, the grief begins anew when that "puddy tat" recovers and makes another attempt.  It is of course then followed by another sense of relief.  Grief --> Relief   Grief --> Relief   Grief --> Relief over and over again.  So, to him, the Sylvester & Tweety series is more of a heavy drama than a slapstick comedy.  Well, again, he's 5 months.  He will eventually notice a pattern within this cartoon series and hopefully experience joy or what have you. 

There is one thing in this world that he does fully enjoy.  It lights his face up every time he watches it.  Anybody with small children already know who it is.  But, for everyone else, I will embed his very favourite show right below:


Yep! This video has been playing much more than once a day every day for several months.  And now that I'm showing you this video, now YOU have every one of her songs stuck in your head with no chance of escape. HA!!!
Although, I have heard that the above figure Ms Rachel is being hailed as the new Mister Rogers and for good reason.  She does a tremendous job of reaching, teaching, and educating children I'm sure all over the world.  She helps keep my son happy and that's great.  More power to her.

He's not ONLY entertained by Ms Rachel though.  His horizons are a bit more broad than that.  Here are some things I've seen him enjoy:

Robin Hood Daffy - I saw him smile al through the scene where Daffy and Porky are laughing with each other.  He found their laughter to be infectious and it got to him.










Louvre Come Back To Me - Well, for pretty much the entire cartoon he had no idea what was going on. He saw Pepe Le Pew pursuing the black & white cat throughout the art museum while her naturally jealous boyfriend was trying to step between them (only to be overpowered by Pepe's stench).  However, I saw him smile at the very very end of the cartoon.  There's a "montage" of sorts showing many of the paintings reacting to Pepe Le Pew's odour all through the establishment.  The very last painting to react is the Mona Lisa who simply says "I can tell you chaps one thing. It's not always easy to hold this smile."  Whether you think that joke is strong, weak or whatever is immaterial.  Avery found it amusing that a painting suddenly started talking and that's great.











Oh hey!  There is a Tex Avery cartoon that my son Avery did enjoy.  He likes that cartoon about little Owl Jolson wanting to sing jazz much to the dismay of his conventional symphony-loving father: I Love To Singa.  I've seen him enjoy seeing that little owl singing the signature song for the whole cartoon.  So, in a small tribute to my baby son, I've drawn him as Owl Jolson.


I can't wait for him to start his education just so I can see if he would "get through Yale with buela buela"!

Saturday, February 17, 2024

Some smeary smearness


 Here's a screenshot from that animated video I'm working on.  I figured that it was too crazy NOT to share.  Anyway, there it is for your visual enjoyment or whichever emotion takes you.


I've seen people online decrying smear animation and too wonky and
weird.  People just take a screenshot of it and just focus on that one image pointing out everything they find "wrong" with it.  These are people that are of course 1) not in the animation business 2) have never tried to animate anything in their entire lives.  Therefore they have no inkling of how any of it works.  On the day they finally do acquire that knowledge, they'll find out that the image they once gawked at does indeed work within the movement where it counts. 

This is, of course, something that AI artists could never fully duplicate even with the biggest computer with the highest amount of RAM memory.

Anyway, that's my post and subsequently my rant.  Here's hoping my video, smears and all, is done and online soon.  I can't wait.

Monday, January 01, 2024

Kenny Rogers was a skilled and masterful song writer


 That's quite a hot take I know, but I just have to say it.  It's true. Kenny Rogers was a highly talented artist who had a special gift for writing songs. He had that spark, that indelible flair for crafting songs that entertain and uplift generations upon generations of people from all walks of life. A true master of his craft if there ever was one.


I know a lot of creaky old boomers and various music nerds will read that line above and maybe respond with "WELL NO BIDOY! I've known that that since his work with the First Edition! I know what condition his condition was in! It's like common knowledge, man! Where have you been? Are ya deef and dum maybe?! What's the big idea?? Why I oughta........."

Whoa whoa whoa!  Calm down there you hyper hypothetical. Yes, I'm quite aware of how famous and well established he was in his lifetime. He had multiple selling albums and many hit songs to his name.  I know that full well.

However, my assessment of Kenny Rogers' music right now is not based on the usual criteria.  I'm not going by how many fans he has or any number of album sales.  I don't care about any sold out concert performances at all.  I'm definitely not going to use any measures or charts that musicologists use to over analyze a song to see if it follows a proper wave pattern or whatnot.  No, I am not using any method used by any of the most obsessed music nerd you can name.  My assessment of Kenny Rogers is based on my son Avery.

A most discerning connoisseur.


I'll explain.  One fine day, not long ago, I was given the task to keep my son occupied so my wife could cook either a breakfast or lunch.  I remembered that there are several episodes of the original Muppet Show on Disney+ so I decided to check that out.  Yes, you guessed it, I selected the episode with Kenny Rogers in it.  I can't quite recall why I chose that particular show, but I'm glad I did.

I already knew that my son loves any show with music in it and I was also very familiar with the Muppets' proclivity to burst into song at any given notice (I was indeed a big fan of the Muppets back when they were originally on the air).  So, I figured he'd enjoy that.  Being that he's only a few months old, some parts of the show entertained him but other parts scared him.  I guess Jim Henson was a little TOO ambitious with his creations sometimes.

However, Avery's fear completely melted away when Kenny Rogers sang the final song of the show.  He just grabbed his guitar and softly played Love Lifted Me.  My son's reaction to that song is probably the most precious thing I'll ever witness.  That song makes him sad and happy at the same time.  It's difficult to describe, but that's how it looked to me.

Keep in mind that this is a months old baby.  Lyrics mean nothing to him.  They all just sound like babble babble babble to him.  My son reacted to pure melody.  That's the mark of a good song writer, really.  If just the melody or the hook can reach a person right in the soul, songs can't get any better than that.

Even though Kenny Rogers left us back in 2020, I'm sure he's happy to know that he just got a new fan in my son.  Here's a drawing I made of the two of them enjoying each others' company:

That's all I wanted to say with this post.  I just wanted to let everyone know that Kenny still inspires people and probably will for generations to come.  For those woefully unfamiliar with Kenny Rogers' Love Lifted Me song, I'll embed a video of him singing that song on The Muppet Show, the very same version of that song which delighted my son.  Show this clip to brighten the day of other people in your life.  Enjoy!

Thursday, November 23, 2023

My Censor Monkeys Are Animated

It's finally happened!  I have put my Censor Monkey characters to animation.  Don't worry if this scene doesn't make sense yet.  It's a very small part of a larger video I'm working on.  There will be some other action going on in those two empty seats in the front row.
Looking at this you're probably asking many questions. "Why have they all gathered in this movie theatre?" "Why film are they watching?" "What could they be seeing that is making them all so mad?"
Well, the answer to the last question is: Everything! Everything they see makes them mad.  A little spoiler there I guess.  Anyway, I made this thing and it is what it is.  Feedback is always welcome. 

 

Sunday, October 29, 2023

More pumpkin carving goodness


 Like I mentioned in the previous post, Halloween is once again upon us. Like other years previous, my daughter and I did some pumpkin carving to celebrate. The big difference this year is that my son Avery has joined us.




So, this year, I decided to take another approach to the jack o'lantern design. I tried to make it pleasent and somewhat baby-like rather than spooky or crazy.  I drew mine out on paper first:

I thought that looked pleasant enough. Avery would be sure to enjoy that. Raianne doodled a quick pleasent face too just a few minutes before carving. The full result with the lights added is below.


I thought I had achieved something that would please my one month old son. However, his mom (my wife) informed that he was indeed scared of this pumpkins. He put on a sad face as soon as he saw them. Oh well, he did see the both of us carving the pumpkins earlier abd seemed to enjoy that. Maybe next year he can participate. 

Until then, HAPPY HALLOWEEN, EVERYONE!!

Friday, October 27, 2023

Baby Avery's first Halloween

Halloween is almost upon us, so everybody the whole world over are preparing themselves with elaborate house decorations, even more elaborate costumes, as well as many delinquent style pranks being meticulously planned.  Since my son was only born last month, this will be his first time participating in the Hallows Eve festivities. Since his name is Avery, it's only fitting that his first costume be "Tex Avery related".  So, his first costume is Droopy.


My wife helped with the sewing because she's much more competent at it than me. (Confidentially, I couldn't even sew a button with an electrified button sewer).  At any rate, the above photo is the result of our labour. What do you think?

Even though Avery is way too young to be eating any candy, I think he'll have an enjoyable Halloween. He seems happy anyway.

 

To complete this blog post, here's a Droopy cartoon for your viewing pleasure. Happy Halloween, all!